The older I get the more I realize the less I know. -unknown
Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught, will we then realize we cannot eat money - Cree Indian Saying
Bacon is meat candy.
Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught, will we then realize we cannot eat money - Cree Indian Saying
Bacon is meat candy.
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Needs vs. Wants
It never ceases to amaze me the new items they come up with that you NEED in order to make your life so much better or easier. In my desire to simplify my life and stop wasting money, I am seeking to find ways to avoid unnecessary purchases and determine what is a NEED and what is a WANT. Of course the media is trying to get you to spend your money, so everything immediately becomes something you need, but when you really really look at it...what do we really NEED?
The first item of this year is ~ style snaps. These snaps help you to hem your pants or secure clothing in place without having to glue or sew. Come on! Like the adhesive is going to last longer than a few changes, like you aren't going to forget to take them off before washing and lose them in the rotation, and I really doubt your pants won't look chunky with all that extra material stuffed under the pant leg. And for this item, when you order you only get your order doubled as your bonus instead of doubled and an additional item (e.g. slap chop, you get your order doubled, and you get a free cheese grater). Everybody knows you make the purchase for the second item. I give this item a - Meh. Simply said, is it a $10 need? No, those things are probably made for pennies, the cheaper option ask a friend to do a quick hem on your pants if needed, there shouldn't be too much difference in the length of your pants compared to the type of shoes you are wearing, another option - buy clothes that fit, if your button up shirt pops open when you sit down, you need to put it back in the closet until it does fit.
#2 Item ~ The Backup. A shot gun rack for your bed. 4 pieces of metal welded together that you slide inbetween your mattress & box springs that has 2 cradles to rest your shot gun in for easy access in case of an intruder. Well, if that is the case, then when are you going to invent the shot gun rack for my recliner, the couch, the bathtub, or the toilet?
Let me tell you why this is a bad idea. My husband and I had just moved back to Portland, OR from Juneau, AK. We moved into a 2bd apartment near the Zupans on Belmont & 33rd. It was an upstairs corner apartment, pretty hidden away, but very close up on other apartment buildings. We had lived in Portland all throughout college, but it was our first time living there with a child. Our daughter was only a few months old at the time, and finally sleeping in her own bed. One night I woke up needing a drink of water so I got up, went to the kitchen, and on my way back to the bedroom my husband jumped out of the bedroom in the dark hallway, eyes completely dialated, face as white as a ghost, and fists clinched. "Hooah!," he yelled at the top of his lungs as he flexed his body in a Hulk Hogan sort of way. I was so startled but knew exactly what was happening. He didn't recognize me and thought I was a burgler. Ya know, its a really scary experience to look straight into your spouse's eyes, the person you have been with for 5 years, and have them not recognize you. I shouted, "it's me! it's me!" It took a breathable moment for him to realize what was going on. He hugged me shaking and we retired to bed taking the rest of the night to calm down from the event. Thankfully, my daughter never woke up from the disturbance, thankfully it was not a real burgler, and THANKFULLY we did not have a gun in our house!!!
I have never been someone really opposed to having a gun. I also have never been someone who really feels the need to have a gun. After that experience, if I were to have a gun, it certainly would not be that easily accessable. So I give this item a: No way. Need? NO! Want? NO! This is something no one should have in their home (unless you live alone in a small 1 bedroom cabin in Alaska somewhere and need to defend yourself from bears, but I picture these people probably don't need a rack, they just sleep with their gun on their side in the bed).
#3: Metal Detecting Sandals
YESSS!!! You never know what you might be missing when you walk along the beach or at the park. Question: Do you have to drag your feet as you walk or keep your feet really close to the ground as you walk? Could you make it look a little less like you might be tackled by your parole officer for being in the park near children? Is it really that more convenient than carrying your metal detector? Don't get me wrong, my great grandfather would have the first to invest in this. Need? Maybe if that is your main source of income and your current metal detector is on the fritz. Perhaps it truly is your hobby, I can understand. But please don't spend your money for this just because it's "cool." So is is a Want? Well, not for me. I give this item a Hey Grandpa, check this out.
YESSS!!! You never know what you might be missing when you walk along the beach or at the park. Question: Do you have to drag your feet as you walk or keep your feet really close to the ground as you walk? Could you make it look a little less like you might be tackled by your parole officer for being in the park near children? Is it really that more convenient than carrying your metal detector? Don't get me wrong, my great grandfather would have the first to invest in this. Need? Maybe if that is your main source of income and your current metal detector is on the fritz. Perhaps it truly is your hobby, I can understand. But please don't spend your money for this just because it's "cool." So is is a Want? Well, not for me. I give this item a Hey Grandpa, check this out.
#4: As per request: The pillow pet. It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet! You're welcome! Now you can sing that tune in your head for the rest of the day. This item s a little bit awesome and a little bit ridiculous. We have 2 of these in our house because my girls have been sucked in by media brainwashing in thinking this is really the greatest thing ever. And even though they have one already, they still feel drawn to the display of them when we are in the store. Why is it awesome? Because it is a pillow and stuffed animal, so if you go to a sleep over, you are covered for both items, and I will say that they are pretty cute. Why are they ridiculous? ITS NOT A PET! It is a stuffed animal. Why couldn't they call them "Pillow Animals?" Seriously, who has a panda, hippo, or ladybug for a pet? I don't think they even have a cat one or a hamster one. Am I wrong in thinking people don't have hippos for pets? Are there really a lot of people out there that want hippos for pets and that is why it made the cut for pillow pet production? So, is it a Need? Don't be ridiculous, the only reason I could see "needing" one of these would be a child who doesn't have a pillow or a stuffed toy. Does it make your kids happy having one? Sure maybe for a little while, but do they have a pillow? Do they have a stuffed animal? Then maybe it isn't a need. Want? Well of course (from my children). So if you find yourself at the store with the urge to purchase one of these for $20, consider purchasing it and donating it to a local shelter to a child in need. I give this item a No honey you already have a stuffed animal you can sleep with.
#5: The Better Marriage Blanket. Seriously, it is called that. It is a blanket that is made of a carbon material that absorbs odors from flatulence. So when your spouse rips a good one in the middle of the night because of 4th meal, you can rest easy knowing those poo molecules will be going into your blanket and not into your nostrils. They even say you don't have to wash it except to clean the outer fabric, you can just stick it in the dryer or the sun to "refresh" it. Huh? Riiiight. If this is true, you are telling me they could make a pair of tighty whities out of this material, and they could be worn without needing to be washed, and to refresh them you just put them in some heat and it makes it all better? I don't buy it. But this is a "real solution to a very real problem." So the question is, is this a good purchase for $39? Well, I think that if your partner is unwilling to try to lay off the gas causing foods that create unbearable 'honey our marriage is on the rocks because of your butt stench' then yes. Or you know that the cause of the' forget about setting the alarm because I can rely on your regularly timed release of bowel air' is due to medical issues, then yes, $39 is well worth it. Do you need to be spending $39 on it as a wedding or anniversary gift? NO! A wedding gift? I thought you might need this because you are going to have to smell this for the rest of your life. An anniversary gift? I think you know where I can go with this. Save the money for a thoughtful, meaningful gift for the special occasion. Get the laughs at another time. I give this item a not breathing fart particulates is always a good thing.
